October 2014 - The Wesley Communities


Deciding whether a loved one is ready for hospice is never an easy choice. For many when we hear the word hospice we associate it with losing someone dear to us, making the decision to involve hospice that much harder.  Hospice is not about death; it is about the enhancement of life a person has remaining.
Although end-of-life care is often difficult to discuss, it is important for families to have the “talk” well before it becomes a concern.  By doing so, you lessen the stress for everyone when the time for hospice is needed. Once you’ve had the discussion, you can then begin to research possible options for your loved one’s specific needs. Typically, hospice care begins at the request or referral of the patient’s doctor.  Once a referral is made, a hospice representative contacts the family to schedule a meeting to discuss the specific needs of both the patient and the family and or caregiver.
• Confirm that the agency/organization is licensed by your state.
• What services do they provide?
• How is a patients’ pain controlled?
• How often will a nurse or other hospice staff visit?
• How much of the care provided is covered by Medicare?
• Are there daily updates for the family?
• Is there an emergency number in place if a family member is caring for the patient and needs assistance?
Hospice is about affirming life, and exists to support those with incurable illnesses as they begin the journey to their end. Although many of us associate hospice with sorrow, the hospice experience often includes times of joy, heartwarming memories and peace.
To find out more about hospice, please contact Hospice Services at Methodist ElderCare at (614) 451-6700 or click here for more information http://www.hospicemec.com/

Knowing the Stages of Grief

Grief, the 5 letter word that weighs a ton.
Dealing with grief varies from person to person.  What most of us don’t realize is there are different stages of grief and knowing the stages can help you and your family deal better through the process after losing a loved one.  Often people say that time heals all wounds, which is not necessarily true when it come to losing someone you love. There is no good or bad, right  or wrong way to grieve, however there are healthy ways.
The grief process is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief.  The key to understanding the stages of grief is not to feel you have to have experience the stages in any particular order. Instead use them as guides in the grieving process.
Here are the common stages of grief that people go through, according to WebMD.com :
• Denial, numbness and shock: Numbness is a normal reaction to death or loss and should never be confused with “not caring”. This stage helps protect us from experiencing the intensity of the loss. It can be useful when we have to take some action, such as planning a funeral, notifying relatives or reviewing important papers.  As we move through the experience and slowly acknowledges its impact, the initial denial and disbelief fades.
• Bargaining: this stage of grief may be marked by persistent thoughts about what “could have been done” to prevent the death or loss.  Some people become obsessed with thinking about specific ways things could have been done differently to save the person’s life or prevent the loss.  If this stage of grief isn’t dealt with and resolved, the person may live with intense feelings of guilt or anger that can interfere with the healing process.
• Depression: In this stage, we begin to realize and feel true extent of the death or loss.  Common signs of depression in this stage include trouble sleeping, poor appetite, fatigue, lack of energy, and crying spells.  We may also have self pity and feel lonely, isolated, empty, lost and anxious.
• Anger: This stage is common.  It usually happens when we feel helpless and powerless. Anger can stem from a feeling of abandonment because of a death or loss.  Sometimes we’re angry at higher power, at the doctors who cared for a lost loved one, or toward life in general.
• Acceptance: In time, we can come to terms with all the emotions and feelings we experienced when the death or loss happened.  Healing can begin once loss becomes integrated into our set of life experiences.
Because there are no rules or time limits to the grieving process its possible that you could experience one or more of these stages again. The two most common of the stages that return over time are depression and anger. If this happens, don’t be alarmed and just remember that each individual should define his or her own healing process after the loss of a loved one.  Again, there is no limit to how long one should grieve, however the difficult times should become less intense and shorter as time goes by.
To find out more about hospice and the grieving process, please contact Hospice Services at Methodist Eldercare at 614-451-6700 or click here for more information. https://www.wesleyhospice.com

Deciding Where to Spend the Holidays

For me, where I spend the holidays is easy–it’s at home.  My daughter, her husband and my three grandsons come to my house for every holiday.  The other grandparents host either breakfast or lunch, so dinner is always at my house.  I’ve always stressed to my daughter the importance of my grandchildren spending time with both sets of grandparents.  So for all of us, it’s a win-win situation.  Others I hear aren’t as lucky.
For many families as the holidays near, so does the stress.  Over the years I’ve had friends share the ups and downs of planning where and when they will see not only their grandchildren, but their own children.  In most cases there are two sets of grandparents to split time between.  Because rushing from house to house is no fun for anyone, it’s important to have a plan in place to make the holidays an enjoyable and memorable time for all.
I’d like to offer a few ideas I came up with to keep the stress out of the holidays.
1. Develop realistic expectations of how the holidays should be spent.
2. Express the importance of time being spent with both sets of grandparents. This is where your children learn more about you and the traditions your family have shared over the years.
3. Be open to changing your plans if needed.  Flexibility can sometimes help avoid hurt feelings.
4. Suggest bringing everyone together in one location, that way there’s no time restraints and everyone can be stress-free and have fun.
Remember, the holidays are about family, and a time of happiness . Though not always easy, with a little creativity and flexibility, the true spirit of the holiday can be yours to enjoy.

Keeping In Touch With Your Grandchildren

In a world of social media, the idea of your grandchildren picking up the telephone to give you a call these days is not very likely.  If you are not on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine or any one of the many social media networks out there, conversations with your grandchildren may be far and few. Even with the fancy cell phone you got them for Christmas, the calls just aren’t coming, and if you’re like me, you miss the frequent contact.
I decided to reach out to my friends to find out how they keep in touch with their grandchildren. Here are some of the tips they shared.
• Send notes via “snail mail.”  Younger children are especially happy to receive a letter from the postman. Encourage them to respond back to your letters by sending photos, artwork or even copies of their report cards.
• Instead of writing a letter, record one to change things up a bit.  Ask that they do the same.  A simple hand-held tape recorder works perfect and can be sent back and forth between you and your grandchild.
• Send your grandchild a disposable camera and ask he/she to take pictures of themselves, the family pet, friends and themselves doing their favorite activities.  Get the parents to mail the camera back to you.  Have the photos developed and make a small album, and on their next visit they can explain the pictures to you.
• Start a book club and use Skype to discuss the book.  This not only gives you opportunity to interact with your grandchildren, but also encourages reading.
• Play 20 questions via e-mail.  The continuous back and forth transmissions keep the lines of communication open. This is a game that can go on for a very long time.
Communication is key to building strong and meaningful relationships with your grandchildren. Learning to text may be something you’ll have to learn to keep the lines of communication open. It will be worth every second spent.

Taste of Ridge

The Guild at Wesley Ridge hosted its first-ever “Taste of Ridge” this past Tuesday night at the Wesley Ridge Retirement Community.  Nearly 100 guests enjoyed food from Cimi’s Bistro at Pinnacle; Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar; Culver’s; The Sunset Grille & Sports Bar; Edible Arrangements; Uno Pizzeria & Grill; Tom + Chee; Starbucks; and Gigi’s Cupcakes.
The Wesley Communities chefs treated everyone to a sneak preview of their Taste of Gahanna entry (check them out there on Thursday, October 9!):  wow!  They knocked it out of the park.  And Walgreens, The Guild at Wesley Ridge, Hospice Services at Methodist ElderCare, and Wesley At Home had booths with lots of goodies and raffles.  Mary Beth Quillin was the lucky winner of the beautifully decorated pumpkin and Glenna Collura won the snuggly throw from Wesley At Home.  Congratulations to both!

Locating Old Friends

Have you ever wondered what happened to Shelly from elementary school or Billy from high school who was voted most likely to succeed?  Did you ever wonder how successful Billy ended up being in his life? Over the years I have been lucky enough to stay in touch with the majority of my friends from my childhood.  However, I must admit, there are a few of my friends I’ve lost contact with over the years. Recently, I have become interested in locating them, but not too sure how to go about finding them.
After looking into my options, my search led me to a variety of websites.  Some sites I came across required a small fee, promising they could find anyone I was looking for. Though interested in finding some old friends, the charge of the service deterred me. This led me to a more in-depth search that offered a variety of ways track down a lost friend.
If you have access to the Internet, tracking down that old friend should be relatively easy to do. Here are some tips and tools to help you get started:
1. Jot down as much info as you can remember about your friend– things like their middle name or initial, birthdate, last known address, names of family members.  Knowing one or more of these things could help greatly in your search.
2. After you’ve gathered some of the information mentioned above, a great place to start would be google.com.  Simply type in the person’s first and last name in quotation marks to indicate that you are searching for a specific phrase.  If your friend happens to have a unique name, this will help narrow your search a bit.  More common names bring larger results that have to be narrowed down.  The more info you can add to your search the better.
3. If you search and are unable to come up with any current information about your friend, it’s possible that he or she could be deceased or could be re-married if a female friend. To find out if that could be the case you can check, www.familysearch.org or www.tributes.com. Both offer free searches.
4. The most common way to find old friends these days is through social media, www.facebook.com, www.twitter.com.  Both are free and require you to create an account.
If all else fails, reach out to others who may have information about your friend.  I was able to find my friends’ sister on Facebook and she put us in contact with each other and we’ve been in touch ever since.  She is coming home for the holidays and we have plans to see each other.

Good luck finding and reconnecting with your friends, sharing memories is priceless.

Creating Your Bucket List

Creating a bucket list has never been at the top of my to-do list, but as I have gotten older,
I realized there were tons of things I had never experienced or conquered. Thinking about this list left me feeling like I missed out on some experiences life has to offer. So, I decided it was time I create my bucket list!
Start by charting your course in life. Having specific goals written down will help you stay focused. What people don’t realize is that a bucket list does not need to include a difficult task, such as bungee jumping or zip lining, but something that makes you want to learn or explore more about a particular interest. \
A bucket list is essentially like a to-do list, without time restraints. Some things to add to your bucket list could be as simple as participating in a hot dog eating contest. Aside from stomach pains, there may be no real reward, but the experience alone would leave a lasting memory and a fun time.
Other bucket list to-dos may include:
•  Reading the dictionary from front to back (build your own vocabulary)
•  Bird watching (learn your local species and common nesting habits)
•  Crochet/Knit (create your own look or great gifts)
•  Create a YouTube video (cover what matters to you most)
•  Learn how to line do a line dance (an opportunity to get active)
•  Learn how to play an instrument (make your own music or play your favorite songs)
•  Write and publish a book (get creative and tell a story)
•  Learn a foreign language or sign language
•  Build something you can utilize (table/bench/birdhouse)
•  Reupholster a chair
•  Learn to meditate (meet your inner Zen)
In conclusion, your bucket list should be specific to things that interest you, while never giving yourself limits. Your list is nothing more than words on a piece of paper until you take steps towards achieving them. The idea of a bucket list is self-fulfillment, and should fun and full of feats that will bring you joy after each is completed. I have a few online links to help you get started:
www.youtube.com  or www.pintrest.com (search: How to Knit/How to Crochet)