Tip # 14 of 50 –The Case Against Staying at Home as You Age

“Fifty Tips on Aging Well to Celebrate 50 Years of Excellent Service”

As The Wesley Communities approach 50 years of excellent service, our CEO Peg Carmany offers “Peg’s Perspective” on a variety of topics affecting seniors and their adult children as they plan and choose to age well – 50 tips to celebrate 50 years!

Tip # 14 of 50 –The Case Against Staying at Home as You Age

There has been a media blitzkrieg (and resulting changes in state and federal regulations regarding nursing home care) about the benefits of staying at home “as long as possible” as we age. Who wouldn’t, after all, want to stay at home? It’s well, home. And home can be familiar and welcoming, with daily routines, good memories, and familiar surroundings.

But what if staying at home isn’t the best option? What if staying at home ultimately means isolation and increasing danger for folks whose eyesight and hearing isn’t what it used to be? What if “home” lacks the one factor most likely to result in a long, happy life: sociability? And what if “home” means negotiating steep stairs and icy driveways to collect the mail, and a never-ending list of chores that become harder and harder as we age?

Continuing care retirement communities offer many options to more than offset the benefits of home. First and foremost, they are filled with people who are both interested and interesting. And there are a wide variety of activities to fit a wide variety of interests: music, entertainment, book clubs, fitness and art classes – the list goes on and on . . . . including good food that someone else prepares!

If the choice to “stay home” involves home healthcare services when needed, there is so much to consider. Of course, there are good home healthcare agencies, and not so good home healthcare agencies. And even if you find a good one, what if your healthcare needs don’t neatly align with a scheduled visit? What if your needs change, and you need far less than a trip to the ER by squad, but more than you can do yourself?

Continuing care retirement communities have competent help to fit all needs, around the clock, just a call away. And additional healthcare is available as needed, in assisted living, skilled/rehabilitation services, long-term care, memory care, and ultimately, hospice care.

I encourage you to compare “apples to apples” in terms of safety and peace of mind. In my opinion, the scale tips toward making a move to a faith-based, not for profit continuing care retirement community instead of clinging to “staying at home as long as possible.” It’s never too late to make life-long friends.

At The Wesley Communities, we are welcoming communities of kindness and grace where residents and staff thrive. Please visit our website at www.thewesleycommunities.org for more information.


Tip # 13 of 50 – The Longevity Project and a study of catastrophic thinking – “Don’t be a Chicken Little”!

“Fifty Tips on Aging Well to Celebrate 50 Years of Excellent Service”

As The Wesley Communities approach 50 years of excellent service, our CEO Peg Carmany offers “Peg’s Perspective” on a variety of topics affecting seniors and their adult children as they plan and choose to age well – 50 tips to celebrate 50 years!

Tip # 13 of 50 – The Longevity Project and a study of catastrophic thinking – “Don’t be a Chicken Little”!

In 1921, Dr. Lewis Terman began a study of 1500 children who were born around 1910.  The lives of these 1500 children were followed and studied in meticulous detail over the course of their lifetimes.   Out of this now famous study, Dr. Howard Friedman and Dr. Leslie Martin began to study a different question:   who lived the longest, and why?     The results are revealed in The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight Decade Study. 

When the Terman subjects were young adults, they were tested for their “Chicken Little” qualities, that is, did they constantly think the sky was falling?  Also called “catastrophizers,” these subjects tended to see impending doom everywhere, and the trend, perhaps not surprisingly, shows that this trait is not good for a long life! In sum, the Chicken Littles died sooner!

The good news is that catastrophic and related negative thought processes can be changed.   The first step is recognizing thoughts for what they are – they are merely thoughts. If you start to think of “worst case” scenarios, you can literally say to yourself, “Stop!” This, followed by thought replacement (replacing the negative thought with a more positive one), can be very useful.

Remember, making changes to persistent patterns of negative thinking takes both patience and determination, but it can lengthen your life, and it can be done!

Source: The Longevity Project, by Howard S. Friedman, Ph.D., and Leslie R. Martin, Ph.D


Peg’s Perspective-If you’re considering retirement community living . . . .

“Fifty Tips on Aging Well to Celebrate 50 Years of Excellent Service”

As The Wesley Communities approach 50 years of excellent service, our CEO Peg Carmany offers “Peg’s Perspective” on a variety of topics affecting seniors and their adult children as they plan and choose to age well – 50 tips to celebrate 50 years!

Peg’s Perspective

Tip # 12 of 50 – If you’re considering retirement community living . . . .

Here we are, well into the new year of 2019, and how are your new year resolutions coming along? Most of us resolve to eat better, exercise more, get rid of clutter . . . . and the gyms are certainly more crowded for the first few months of the year! But most of us, by now, have gone back to our old ways.

So what’s the best way to start and continue a new habit? Experts agree: starting small and building toward a goal is the best way to stay focused and committed.

If you are considering looking at, and perhaps moving into a retirement community (for yourself or a loved one), start with small, concrete steps. Things I recommend that you consider:

1. Location. Do you want to be near to family? Or near to your old stomping grounds (and doctors and grocery stores)? That’s the first question you need to answer.

2. Determine what level of care you may need. Still living on your own? Independent living is probably the place to start. If you’ve had a health break and need assistance, assisted living or nursing care may also be appropriate.

3. Once you know where you want to be, locate several retirement communities in that geographic area. Find out if they have the level of care that is appropriate for you.

4. When you have a list, call and ask to visit. It’s easy to do, and the main number for each facility will put you in touch with exactly the right person.

5. When you visit, take notes so you can compare. Don’t try to visit more than two in any one day, even if you are pressed for time. There is a lot to take in at each community, and one of the best ways to “see” it is to have a meal there.

Each community you visit will have a different “feel.” Take notice of these things that are sometimes hard to measure: Is the staff friendly? Is the community for profit or not-for-profit? Is it clean and well-maintained? Are there resident satisfaction surveys you can review?

Progress to your goal is all about planning, and taking small, concrete steps.

We of course welcome you to visit The Wesley Communities! We are welcoming communities of kindness and grace where residents and staff thrive.


Peg’s Perspective –The Longevity Project and Conscientiousness

“Fifty Tips on Aging Well to Celebrate 50 Years of Excellent Service”

As The Wesley Communities approach 50 years of excellent service, our CEO Peg Carmany offers “Peg’s Perspective” on a variety of topics affecting seniors and their adult children as they plan and choose to age well – 50 tips to celebrate 50 years!

Tip # 11 of 50 –The Longevity Project and Conscientiousness

By: Peg Carmany

In 1921, a forward-thinking psychologist, Dr. Lewis Terman, began a study of 1500 children born around 1910.  The purpose of the study was to research intellectual leadership — Dr. Terman wondered if he could identify early markers of high potential in children who were identified as “gifted” by their teachers. Their lives were followed and studied in meticulous detail. Out of this now famous study Dr. Howard Friedman and Dr. Leslie Martin began to study a different question: who lives the longest, and why? The results are revealed in The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight Decade Study. 

One of the factors in living a long life is conscientiousness, that is, the young adults who were thrifty, persistent, detail-oriented and responsible, tended to live the longest. Conscientious people simply do more things to protect their health and engage in fewer activities that are risky. They are more likely to wear seatbelts and follow doctors’ orders. And not only do conscientious people have better health habits and healthier brains, but they also tend to create healthy, long-life pathways for themselves, including happier marriages, better friendships, and healthier work situations.

So, if you are a conscientious person, keep doing what you are already doing! And if you are not engaging in prudent, dependable habits, take heart. People can and do slowly change their patterns and habits to promote a healthy, happy, and long life.

At The Wesley Communities, we have an impressive number of residents who are living well beyond 100 years old, maintaining their independence, their minds, and their sense of purpose. We do not quiz them on their conscientiousness, but we do provide many wonderful options to help all of them make good, happy, and fun choices!

Source:  The Longevity Project, by Howard S. Friedman, Ph.D., and Leslie R. Martin, Ph.D


Peg’s Perspective-Brain Fitness: Hardwiring for Happiness

The Brain Fit Book Club at Wesley Glen really enjoyed reading (and discussing, over a course of several months) Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.  The book explores how we as humans are originally hardwired for negativity, not positivity. Why? Dr. Hanson refers to “Paper Tiger Paranoia,” which looks at the special power of fear:

“Our ancestors could make two kinds of mistakes:  (1) thinking there was a tiger in the bushes when there wasn’t one, and (2) thinking there was no tiger in the bushes when there actually was one.   The cost of the first mistake was needless anxiety, while the cost of the second one was death.   Consequently, we evolved to make the first mistake a thousand times to avoid making the second mistake even once,” Hanson explains.

So, we are genetically programmed for fear and anxiety. And anyone who has ever experienced the “hamster wheel of the mind” in the middle of the night can surely relate to that.

But we can, through a variety of ways, begin to hardwire our brains in a different way, in essence, change our brains for the better. The key, according to Dr. Hanson, is to become mindful of the thoughts you are thinking, step back and observe what you are thinking, then work with it to pull the negative thoughts from your own head like you would pull weeds from a garden, and then actively cultivate positive experiences and thoughts. Dr. Hanson calls it “Self-Directed Neuroplasticity,” which is cultivating good, positive thoughts in your head, including living and dwelling with good memories and thoughts, not bad ones.

The negativity bias, while good for survival in harsh conditions, is lousy for a good quality of life, fulfilling relationships, and long-term health. So, take a cue from Dr. Hanson, and regularly take in the good.     Many people are a much better friend to others than they are to themselves. He recommends taking notice of the good, and try not to focus on the negatives that inevitably arise in everyone’s life. Your life-long happiness with be enhanced as a result.

Source: Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson, Ph.D


Peg’s Perspective– Brain Fitness: Safety and Reciprocity

“Fifty Tips on Aging Well to Celebrate 50 Years of Excellent Service”

As The Wesley Communities approach 50 years of excellent service, our CEO Peg Carmany offers “Peg’s Perspective” on a variety of topics affecting seniors and their adult children as they plan and choose to age well – 50 tips to celebrate 50 years!

Tip # 9 of 50 – Brain Fitness: Safety and Reciprocity

The Wesley Communities have established a “Brain Fitness” club that consists of members from our three campuses, and the residents attend regular meetings to get updates on state-of-the-art research regarding brain health. It’s good to learn about how to keep our brains “fit,” and how to slow or even stop the progression of Alzheimer’s and other dementias.

The Brain Fitness club was established in response to rather current research that shows that you can create new and stronger neural pathways in your brain through exercise, proper diet, and a variety of other factors, including a strong social network and learning new things.

Social support is not merely the same thing as being in the presence of others. The critical issue is reciprocity: being truly heard and seen by the people around us, and feeling that we are held in someone else’s mind and heart. Numerous studies of disaster response have shown that social support is the most powerful protection against becoming overwhelmed by stress and trauma.

Wesley Glen, Wesley Ridge, and Wesley Woods at New Albany offer “brain fit” opportunities, including good dietary options, exercise and fitness classes, and a variety of activities to stimulate brain activity, learning, and just plain fun.

One of the most popular activities at Wesley Ridge is Chair Volleyball. Ken, a resident at Wesley Ridge, says: “[Chair Volleyball] is the most fun we’ve ever had! … But most of all, we’ve found it a great way to learn a lot of names of the residents in a very short time and we’ve made a lot of friends. We really enjoy being with the people on the volleyball team!

Perhaps the strongest attribute of The Wesley Communities is the element of social support. Many residents at our communities will testify to the fact that it’s never too late to make good friends, and as a result, create the reciprocity that is vital to good mental health.

We call it ‘The Wesley Way’.

Sources: The Body Keeps the Score:  Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

 

 

 



Peg’s Perspective – What’s the key to a long, healthy, and happy life?

“Fifty Tips on Aging Well to Celebrate 50 Years of Excellent Service”

As The Wesley Communities approach 50 years of excellent service, our CEO Peg Carmany offers “Peg’s Perspective” on a variety of topics affecting seniors and their adult children as they plan and choose to age well – 50 tips to celebrate 50 years!

Peg’s Perspective

By:Peg Carmany

Hazel was born in Olathe, Kansas in her family’s farmhouse. Hazel’s parents were hard-working, encouraging people.  She remembers her mother helping all of them to be their very best. “Stand up straight like God intended,” her mother would explain. Hazel was the eighth of nine children in her family.

She attended a one room country school, with only two others in her class. It was a four mile walk each way—except during the winter when the snow was so high they could walk across the fence rows in the pasture, which made the walk a little shorter.

She remembers wearing dresses made of feed sacks with pretty designs when she was very young. But, when she was in the third grade her family moved to Springfield, Missouri. Here, she received a new dress from her mother and had a pencil box with new yellow pencils. She remembers how exciting it was to receive them!

Hazel went on to attend McPherson College in McPherson, Kansas. Here, she met and married her husband Bob. They were married for 47 years, and moved to Wesley Glen after Bob was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It became difficult for her to care for him at home, so she knew she needed a helping hand.

Now, Hazel has been living at Wesley Glen for 24 years—since 1994! And, she has a lot of good, practical advice on how to live long, and how to live well!

Here are Hazel’s 5 tips for a long life:

  1. You have to have faith, and be connected to a faithful community. There can be lots of trauma in life, and at times you may say, “Lord I need a broader back.” She tries to not fret about things by trusting in her faith.
  2. Good children and a good family—that really helps! She has two children, a son-in-law, and two grandchildren. They are very good to her and she enjoys their company.
  3. A good diet. She is very conscious of what she eats—no fried foods, no pasta, no butter, very little red meat, and lots of vegetables!
  4. Exercise –she and Bob always kept a big garden, and she’s a faithful walker. Here at Wesley Glen she’s up almost every day by 5 or 5:30 a.m. to head to the workout room and walk two miles on the treadmill.
  5. Positive attitude –Hazel smiles and greets everyone she meets. She volunteers at church and at Wesley Glen. Her impact stretches far and wide!

We are grateful that Hazel lives at Wesley Glen, and appreciate that she practices what she preaches, truly “walking the walk.” She is a fine example of how to live a long and healthy life.


Mike the Miracle

Mike, who had suffered a major stroke in 2013, graduated from Wesley Hospice on September 27th. His friends, family, and the team at Wesley Hospice are so joyous at the miracle that occurred for Mike and his family.

Click the link above to read Mike’s story.



Discover the Benefits of The Wesley Communities

Explore Our Services